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Suddenly almost 30

I can't be the only one who gets this?

"you deserve someone"

"you're almost at that age'

"do you want kids?'

"you should buy a house or invest'

'He will come"

Suddenly almost 30

Here I am. Year 2020 at 29, I am single and have been for three years now. This has been by choice for sure. I have had many opportunities to be with someone however, I made the choice not to. From being career driven since I was 14 and reaching the pinnacle of my career in the military by age 24. I wanted time to do and be me before I settled down.
The year of 2019 was my year, a year of discovery, travel, teaching yoga and living in Bali. Best decision I had ever made. I was able to be the most authentic version of myself and discover what was real life. Highly recommend a gap year about you.

Pressures from above

It started firstly with my mother around my early twenties, questioning me about when I would make her a Nan. I had a long term partner  at the time but we just didn't want the same things. My father would always say I was smart for not having kids young. Then I would look around at everyone in my hometown. They had all got into relationships with one another, got married, having kids all before 25 and I thought I was missing out. 

Six months to 30

Come December I turn 30, do I feel like I am almost 30...No. I remember when I was much younger and if I heard someone was turning 30 I would think they were so old. Now this is my reality but I don't feel old.
The last couple of weeks I have felt like a timebomb. My body has changed and has been screaming at me "HAVE KIDS NOW, FIND YOUR FOREVER PERSON NOW and SETTLE DOWN NOW" and been overwhelming. I have found myself researching "how to have kids on your own as a single mum." I do not suggest researching this from unreliable sources like google. If this is something you want to explore please see your GP and save yourself the anxiety and stress. Though it is something I am looking into by starting with exploring my fertility status. 

What I would tell younger me 

"No one is normal"

"If you want to be something be it, don't act it and do it 100% or don't do it at all"

"You don't have to be something above anyone else"

"Who you are is perfect"

"You will inspire others with the person that you are"

Younger me was excited, fast paced, imaginative and loved to explore and dress up. Then I hit my teens and was always so worried about how I looked, was I pretty enough, skinny enough, fast enough and athletic enough. Did I have the best unique clothes or do people think I look silly. I wish almost 30 me sat younger self down and just said "explore everything, have an imagination and do not let anyone tell you can't do or be what you invision."

What is next?

Well 2020 has been a tax write off in my books. I have not set long term goals but I do have my 5 priorities in life solidified. 

1- Family
2-Relationships
3-Self-care
4-Education
5- Personal growth
These are just some ideas you can have to create your own priorities.
Live by your life priorities and see how much it changes your life for the better.
Emma 
xo
 
 

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